Yellows. My forebear had one look at the Minute tree that i brought to life about a week ago and claimed it was wrapped like a mummy (ancient egyptian method of embalming a dead body). With little option of differing i agreed along with him. The once called "Christmas Tree Of Childhood" was chopped down and suppressed in a Mandarin Orange carton box that now sprawls in the store room's most redundant end, the deep end.
Yes, finally chirstmas draws nearer and clearer to my optic nerves. It is undoubtedly a Three hundred and sixty five day wait for the Earth to round the Sun once and Santa, my relative from the icy lands had better conjure something worth anticipating for to make up for his absence the past years. It's likely that for the past sixteen years of my existance, my name 'Jeremy Lim' writes number one in his book of bad children. That probably explains why i'm wrapping other peoples presents other than my own. Hey Clauseman, i'm past juvenile age and the reward i'm prone to for committing a crime is a sleepover with fellow bandits downtown. whahahaha, so watch your back on christmas eve while you visit good children =).
Another probability for this disheartening "phenomenon" could be the fact that the only chimney asian countries have on their roof tops are the sewage ventilations. In that case, Clauseman would have to enter the house via the toilet bowl... how unpleasent but cool =P... I'm not sure about my neighbours and friends but the only times i manage a glimpse of Clauseman is when Santa figurines go cheap in the supermarket... I had better discontinue my absurdity before little children in this innocent world get influenced...
My mind recalls the Children's Christmas Party event in church that i was force to attend back in my kindergarten years. I was innocently placed on Santa's lap and the obvious question blew from his breath "What's your wish for Christmas?" Clauseman asked. "GUN" was my relpy. Clauseman bent towards his dawrfs who were holding out a big box wrapped in red. I held the box with my tiny fingers and had an instant flash back to the week before. I remembered the teachers asking my sunday school class to write down three wishes for the coming christmas and this was my list
1.] GUN
2.] GUN
3.] GUN
I knew moments later that it was a setup. Everything was preplanned. Disappointed i was but still, i had to kiss Clauseman on his cheek before i could take my leave. Yucks (the thought of it erects my papillae). Honestly, i tore off a large portion of his goatee as my sliva got in contact with it. If i knew what lighters were at that age, ignitng his hundred percent cotton goatee would be a step one precaution to take. Thank god someone saved me before i choked on wool. BAH. thats all
Bah, at last. After much nagging from the Lim dowager, i finally had my room squeeky neat. A slum it was initially (which i prefered) but currently its too neat for my optic nerves to convert to graphics. I discarded two bulging garbage bags of used & unused papers and unnecessary accessories that i have left redundant at the corners and tables of my room. Four hours in total i laboured myself into doing this dreadful scutwork, and was rewarded with Rain, Thunder and blissful winds thereafter. What a heartache it was disposing items of little sentimental value, especially if it had a particular name scribbled onto it in times of boredom. It's indeed disheartening being an unwanted product 'cos the future buys you and early destruction date but nevertheless, as the saying goes, nothing lasts forever. It's only a matter of time that my room returns to it's original state and condition, the slum i had once.
Abit on my history. The heaviest i've ever "acheved" was, a stunningly, 88 kilograms. Back then, i was equipted with a bulging belly, round cheeks, streach marks, oversized calfs & thighs and a whole variety of exotic food. In short, the epitome of a "lardypop" (figured from lollypop). I could never resist the temptation of "food, glorious food". All day, i would face the television watching food programmes or if not, the other way round.
My lardypop phenomena began when i was in primary (elementary) three, eight years old. I was in SCOUTS (Extra-curriculum activity, known back then) and outdoor cooking was THE activity there. It's just an assumption, but i guess my habit of scouting for food came about cos' of that. I grew larger day by day until finally my scouts coat became undersized. Well, i kept growing sideways but also vertically at the ratio of 3:1. When it came to primary 6, the weight loss programme (Trim and Fit, TAF) lost hope on me and a comparable few bidding us godspeed to our future endeavor. It was till then that i realised the health hazard i ate myself into and thus, decided to lay a firm hand down before my parents sell me to some SUMO trainer up in JAPAN.
Came secondary one, i ate myself a place in the trimming programme. "The fun and fitness club" they called it, and doubly vigrous than primary (elementary) school. I had little option but to implement dieting plans before existing like "father christmas", isolated to the north pole exercising only a day per year by servicing chimneys. By secondary two, i had lost five kilograms and was still decreasing. By secondary three, ten kilos. And the second year of sec three, another ten kilos.
Currently, i weigh __ kilograms (give a guess =D). I still have a long way to go before achieving my ideal weight so pray for me yah =)... editing in progress...
mee.jpg 
This picture, i present to you, is the formidable me. As if. Taken in my room with bright light glaring off my flawful face. heh. Admire it cos' you only get to see this once. As if.
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Plane...
Flying a plane is not as easy as i thought it was. My idea of it initially was "full throttle when taking off" or "cut the engines when landing". I was so wrong. If my idea had ever existed or still exists, half the rich populace would have been in smithereens. Why is it so hard to fly a plane on the computer? Or is my joystick just b*oody sensitive? Let me enlighten you on my recent crashes. Boeing 747 departured from Changi Airport's active runway and arrived 100 meters from active runway 5 minutes later (quick flight huh?). Boeing 777 departured from Changi Airport (successfully this time) and crash landed two kilometers from Kuala Lumpur International Airport after missing the runway. Bellcraft (helicopter) departed from Changi Airport's active runway (huh?) only to find the pilot exiting back to Windows (heehee... get it? Windows). And all this occured in one day. How am i to fulfill my beloved ambition? More so, it being second on my career list. This is heart breaking indeed.
For the past few months, i had been facinated with the olympus new mini digi cam. Thanks to singapore idol, that addiction came about. Well, although Taufik won it all, the "digital story" commercial that plays, without fail, before and after each segment still lingers about in my grey matter. Although i have sufficient moola to purchase one, parental advisory or rather permission has yet to be seeked before one can make me move. "Moola, oh Moola. Where art thou my freedom of moola usage?"
Secondly, to be alittle ambitions. I would love to lay hands on a S700i SoNy ErIcSsOn. It was most unfortunate that immediately after i adopted a T630, the S700i came about. (for the few who does not know, shame on you *boo-hoo*) I would always drool upon viewing the S700i commercial. The one potraying a lady swinging on a swing with a guy snapping photos of her with the latest S700i. Not to mention the soothing music on the background =). Appealing huh? what say you? If anyone out there is thinking of getting me one, please please please contact me FIRST so that i'm not kept in suspense =D. heehee. I'll keep wishing though. *wish-wish-wish*
Third on my list, my drivers licence. I was suppose to conduct my theory licence during this 2 months holiday of mine, but unfortunately, due to some delay, i never found time too. I am capable of igniting an engine, shifiting gears and moving the vehicle. (Well, PARKING is the word in short) Anyway, i'm desperate of driving a car. In short.
After much consideration, i have decided to start a blogger to pen my thoughts. Well, initially it was peer pressure that had stirred up my consideration. Anyway, since this is somewhat like a public forum, my personal thoughts will be forbidden for viewing so i'll just come down in general with my daily flashbacks. "booo" some may say *shrug shoulders* wish harder =).
Okay, to start off allow me to describe to the audience what i think of my physical being and personality. It may not be really luring but bare with me those readers who are agonisingly reading this.
Firstly, to get things rolling, my general structural being. It is largely assumed that i have massive bones, proven to be somewhat hereditary, and what covers my bones are multi-layered fats that make up a majority of my flesh *fidgets*. Previously, i was labeled as "fit" amoungst all my fellow peers but i dare say i'm in doubt of that calling now. Lazy have i become in all aspects of sports and many a times i would sit and sulk over that 'lard' that lingers about my tummy region. Many call me crazy to have lost the abundant weight and crazier to lose anymore but i'm left with no other choice as my instincts call out to me. CHOCOLATES! *gulps*. This i've said have clearly underlined me as 'fat' but thankfully not as massive as some.
Secondly, abit about my brain. I am a Dyslexic. Although many nerve wreckers admit themselves to be one as well, my case is genuine and scientifically proven through a certified association...hah... What does it means to be dyslexic? It is actually a learning disorder that causes difficulty in a persons comperhending of written words. I had been under coaching at the Dyslexia Association of Singapore (DAS), some 2 years ago, and have ceased since. What the association does is indeed similar to that of a normal english teaching class but very much deeper into that language. For example, the teacher would line up a series of letters like 'A' or even words like 'DGE' and sound out to us the correct pronunciation there is also dictation taking and many other enriching exercises. Dyslexics have trouble recognising strokes of a certain pattern and that explains my reason for not taking a second language. =)
Well, to mark my first post, i shall end short here =)...
