Friday, September 29, 2006

life thus far

it's almost the end of the year and JC one is coming to an end. well almost. there are many things i would have changed if i had the ability to hop on a time machine and rewind time to trivial incidences and make those little fixes that would have made a very big difference in my life now. i would like to recreate my past like how i would whitewash my bedroom walls to cover up those freak vandalism marks of crayons and kiddy chops when i pretend to praise myself like my preschool teachers would. too bad we or in this instance, i only have one shot at life. There are so many songs on the radio which i sometimes sing to myself that would describe my obscene urge to turn back time. but it's not gonna happen. it's too superficial to want to reboot right now. i'm happy (i think) with where i am but maybe i crave for too much perfection.

it's gonna be my promos in a few hours and i know inside me i could have clocked more hours than the usual 5 i try my best to keep to while staying in late in school with canoeing friends talking about who has the loudest burp, which girl is "so MAN", the most preferred washroom to release last nights dinner ingredients, cute and hot girls, discussing how spastic we will be as canoeing seniors, how to kill our juniors during their first training and the list goes on. anyway, damn depression. it's too much sacrifice getting involved with the A levels but it somehow "promises" a future slightly above average and earning it is the way to go about reaping its "promise"...it's like having a needy wife who requires a demanding amount of TLC (Tremendous Load of Cramming). that's besides the point, the point is... i don't know what the point is. I often think of the other opportunities out there available to me since the day i recieved my results other than being clad in mass produced white and blue costumes everyday. i'm just here to let out my complaints. i am sentimental you know so you gotta understand... =( it's just one of those emodays i'm having. damn... see i'm feeling much better now letting out my thoughts rather than containing them inside me. how i wish i had a second jeremy lim to share such random thoughts with =) I NEED MEEEE....

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