Men's best friend and Nature's worst nightmare

I like talking about my dog Hoogie. He's cute, adorable, Dog handsome, cute, adorable (heh) and destructive to nature by nature. His primary weapon, his super concentrated acidic urine that probably malfunctions any pH indicators available in the market. Only nature can decipher his super acidic presence. "DeGRASSation" is nature's indication. This is Hoogie's daily routine, he hibernates, walks about the house, licks himself, sheds dandruff, eats "lamb and rice" combination dog food, drinks his liquids from a container after which he salivates like mad, conducts daily egestion in the BeAuTiFuL garden which includes the release of super concentrated acidic yellow solution from an organ only available to male mammals. Right now, there are blotches of desertification evident in the garden (as you can see on the picture above. Looks like the australian continent). Talk about urea being a good fertilizer.

We replanted our grass not too long ago because weeds were dominating much of the land. Not only was it unsightly but murderous to cut as well. Now we're having some "pearly cow grass" or something like that i'm not too sure of the species but it looks admirable. Except for the super acidic urine hit areas. It's a natural disaster i tell you.

The attack of the Milli-Organisms

Yeah, that's my Bull Mastiff Hoogie. Named after an olympic swimmer my sister had an infatuation for. (something something Hooganban, along those lines). He's pretty much NoCtUrNaL and spends the afternoons hibernating infront of the gate. So much for a guard dog. Dogs are great pets i must admit, but this pet of mine keeps his own variety of pets. On himself that is. Hoogie told me telepathically that he personally named them TICKS. It's good to know he's found his very own friends, but however, hoogie hasn't been a very entertaining host. As a result, TICK corpulation rates increase and *WaLa* you get new TICK generations. Geography teaches us that due to the lack of education and entertainment in developing countries, much of the adult population turn to methods of "increasing population growth" (indirectly meaning carnal connection) as a means of entertainment. Same thing applies to this Bull Mastiff of mine. haha. Anyway these blood suckers, once belly full, will simply drop off the dog and climb up the nearest wall within it's area. Seemingly, that drives us humans up the same wall. Squashing TICKS is a fun thing to do, but my preference would be to heat them up to temperatures exceeding 200 degrees celsius with a matchstick. Cool thing to do really. The excitement would be greater if they actually do "PoP" upon heating, AwEsOmE! imagine the bloodshed =D. Alright, i'm freaking you out. TICKS have been part of our family since the early years of our first pet dog "New Year". Yeeps. Guess what, i just chanced into an AlBiNo TICK, nice and white. I'm gonna heat it up now so i'll end here. Should i use the Microwave oven this time? i'll see...

The day after i fell ill...

School yesterday was totally awesome. My partner and I laughed so much he had a stomach ache and I suffered a splittin' headache. After about and hour or so, my immune system gave in to some nasty virus that practically weakened my entire organism, but still the jokes kept coming. Moments after reaching home, i collapsed unto my precious bed and immediately enguaged basal metabolism. When i awoke, my brain pressure fluctuated and every part of me felt like Sh*T. Dad took my blood pressure a couple of times and got overly excited about my pulse rate doubling. I don't blame him.

Anyway, i'm here now infront of the screen feeling much better although my lymph nodes are a little swollen. It's amazing how it works. It actually filters bacteria and foreign particles from the body and when the organism is infected, it will swell and activate lymphocytes (one form of white blood cells. The other is Phagocytes. It's all Biology). I have consulted my General Practitioner and he gave a GeNeRaL diagnosis saying "It's nothing serious" (They always do, just to play safe, unless it involves pain at strategic spots on the body). I'm on recommended drugs now so i should survive, but if not, my last will and testament, which I haven't seen for two years, is in the drawer somewhere in the premises of my room. The first line says "You should only attempt to read this after i die..." Nevermind there.

Something for all students =)...

A Students' Prayer

Lord grant me a quiet heart
before exams begin
Lead me to use my leisure hours
To invigorate my power
My mind from daydreams liberate
Give me the will to concentrate
From all distractions set me free
That in my studies i may be
A student with a sole fulfillment
To make my work a sacrament

From my faint heart in love expel
All failures fears that there in dwell
And from my pillow drives away
All darkness foreboding of the day
Help me in faith to rest so deep
That i may have untroubled sleep
While notes and lectures i prepare
May i not lose my zeal in prayers

And may i not forget to look
For guidance in thy book
And may i ever greatful be
To all who daily pray for me
While for myself i intercede
For other students too i plead
So may exams find
Each one alert in heart and mind
Thus inward joy and peace processing
May exams prove a source of blessing

In God's love and mine,

Exam review.

Alright, now its my chance to procrastinate before the major exam. And since i have the time, i'll do a little review. I'll begin chronologically. English paper wasn't as bad as before and if you ask me, i think i'll clear with reasonable results. I hate the fact that i am required to conjure a story line in half an hour and write something in the order of "creating a character, giving the character an issue and solving the character's issue on his behalf". I'm talking about writing a narrative. My ideas are down to earth (the last time i checked) and it hardly runs wild and i loathe thinking on my feet. I'm better at argumentative but school discourages us from trying it. Not that they disallow it. Functional writing was simpler, a Tsunami newspaper report... sheesh right... Humanities was next, nothing interesting except that i was pressing for time to complete social studies. I guess i spent more time doing structured essays that i did with source-base i was rewarded with muscle cramps thereafter. Geography wasn't hard, there were only questions i never anticipated. There was one with regards to a section in the book which i never ever laid eyes on, that cost me eight marks... sigh... Nothing to say about Add math except that i hate trigonometry. Left those questions blank and drew smily faces instead. Elementary math was a breeze except for paper one which was pretty challenging =)... Chemistry was good but i made a silly mistake. Physics was too easy and wasn't even 'O' level standard. Biology was interesting, My classmate sitting next to me was used as an experiment in one particular question... heh, it was hilarious. I was giggling at my seat and the invigilators couldn't figure out why... yeeps, i dare say it was quite an experience having the examinations in the hall. It gives the graduating classes a taste of 'O' levels.

Liberated at last... For the time being that is...

Pre-exam symptoms (phase one; relatively mild):
a. major psychological enthusiasm
b. buoyant
c. and absorbed
Exam symptoms (phase two; severe):
a. extreme organismal fatigue
b. muscular cramps
(mainly over the master-hand region)
c. and distorted calligraphy
(rapid scribbling)
Post-exam symptoms (phase three; outbreak)
a. Anti-books tension arises
b. formation of 'parental nag' resistant layer on skin
(thick cornified layer / rapid division epidermal cells)
c. excessive expenditure of weekly income
(especially on ADIDAS wear)

Right, mid-years are coming close to an end. Just one more paper and i'm embarking on my self-proclaimed holiday. heh.

Outward Bound Singapore. 21st to 25th Feb 05.

My initial impression of OBS was more of a military style camp. Until i set foot on Pulau Ubin. All in all, there were roughly Three Hundred participants that had to be transported by taxi boats from mainland to Ubin. Upon reaching OBS camp II, everyone was separated into their "watches" (nautical terms for groups). Amazingly, it was not too much for the instructors to handle. There were twenty odd of them and through estimated division, it was fifteen to a group facilitated by one instructor. My particular watch was named Marco Polo who discovered the Silk road, but that was history the last time i checked=). To be honest. I'm very certain that until today, i haven't mastered every of my watch member's name... *smacks my head*... I guess it's so much simpler addressing the whole wide world with "OI", not to mention it's widely used. I'm certain it carries with it benefits like:
1) Energy saving
2) Oxygen sparing and
3) Reduces noise pollution
heh... nevermind there. OBS was great nevertheless but i shall refrain from going into details. bah.

New tree on the BLOG!

Yellows. My forebear had one look at the Minute tree that i brought to life about a week ago and claimed it was wrapped like a mummy (ancient egyptian method of embalming a dead body). With little option of differing i agreed along with him. The once called "Christmas Tree Of Childhood" was chopped down and suppressed in a Mandarin Orange carton box that now sprawls in the store room's most redundant end, the deep end.

Christmas tree comparison. Big vs. Small.

Yes, finally chirstmas draws nearer and clearer to my optic nerves. It is undoubtedly a Three hundred and sixty five day wait for the Earth to round the Sun once and Santa, my relative from the icy lands had better conjure something worth anticipating for to make up for his absence the past years. It's likely that for the past sixteen years of my existance, my name 'Jeremy Lim' writes number one in his book of bad children. That probably explains why i'm wrapping other peoples presents other than my own. Hey Clauseman, i'm past juvenile age and the reward i'm prone to for committing a crime is a sleepover with fellow bandits downtown. whahahaha, so watch your back on christmas eve while you visit good children =).

Another probability for this disheartening "phenomenon" could be the fact that the only chimney asian countries have on their roof tops are the sewage ventilations. In that case, Clauseman would have to enter the house via the toilet bowl... how unpleasent but cool =P... I'm not sure about my neighbours and friends but the only times i manage a glimpse of Clauseman is when Santa figurines go cheap in the supermarket... I had better discontinue my absurdity before little children in this innocent world get influenced...

My mind recalls the Children's Christmas Party event in church that i was force to attend back in my kindergarten years. I was innocently placed on Santa's lap and the obvious question blew from his breath "What's your wish for Christmas?" Clauseman asked. "GUN" was my relpy. Clauseman bent towards his dawrfs who were holding out a big box wrapped in red. I held the box with my tiny fingers and had an instant flash back to the week before. I remembered the teachers asking my sunday school class to write down three wishes for the coming christmas and this was my list
1.] GUN
2.] GUN
3.] GUN
I knew moments later that it was a setup. Everything was preplanned. Disappointed i was but still, i had to kiss Clauseman on his cheek before i could take my leave. Yucks (the thought of it erects my papillae). Honestly, i tore off a large portion of his goatee as my sliva got in contact with it. If i knew what lighters were at that age, ignitng his hundred percent cotton goatee would be a step one precaution to take. Thank god someone saved me before i choked on wool. BAH. thats all

Monsoon Cleaning =]

Bah, at last. After much nagging from the Lim dowager, i finally had my room squeeky neat. A slum it was initially (which i prefered) but currently its too neat for my optic nerves to convert to graphics. I discarded two bulging garbage bags of used & unused papers and unnecessary accessories that i have left redundant at the corners and tables of my room. Four hours in total i laboured myself into doing this dreadful scutwork, and was rewarded with Rain, Thunder and blissful winds thereafter. What a heartache it was disposing items of little sentimental value, especially if it had a particular name scribbled onto it in times of boredom. It's indeed disheartening being an unwanted product 'cos the future buys you and early destruction date but nevertheless, as the saying goes, nothing lasts forever. It's only a matter of time that my room returns to it's original state and condition, the slum i had once.

Adidas rocks my feet!!!

Hellooooo NeWbIeS...
My new "destination: anywhere" adidas sneekers! Drooling anyone? These pair are my dearly beloved. Not only does it have a "sewerage" system but its ment for all conditions like snow (which we like never get), watersports (excluding swimming), tracking, biking etc. cool huh? It cost me quite a bomb though (Well, my parents, not me). Features: ADIDAS drainage system; bottom, sides and top ventilation (climacool); Black laces; Key or money pockets; rubber insole (removeable); side, front and back reflectors; three original adidas logos; adidas tag (with price tag ofcourse) and not to forget a reciept for one hundred and forty singapore dollars.


Thanks to bright, i got my shoes for 140. Talented bargainer =D. I'm truly thankful. heehee.

Me, my "lard" and diet plans!

Abit on my history. The heaviest i've ever "acheved" was, a stunningly, 88 kilograms. Back then, i was equipted with a bulging belly, round cheeks, streach marks, oversized calfs & thighs and a whole variety of exotic food. In short, the epitome of a "lardypop" (figured from lollypop). I could never resist the temptation of "food, glorious food". All day, i would face the television watching food programmes or if not, the other way round.

My lardypop phenomena began when i was in primary (elementary) three, eight years old. I was in SCOUTS (Extra-curriculum activity, known back then) and outdoor cooking was THE activity there. It's just an assumption, but i guess my habit of scouting for food came about cos' of that. I grew larger day by day until finally my scouts coat became undersized. Well, i kept growing sideways but also vertically at the ratio of 3:1. When it came to primary 6, the weight loss programme (Trim and Fit, TAF) lost hope on me and a comparable few bidding us godspeed to our future endeavor. It was till then that i realised the health hazard i ate myself into and thus, decided to lay a firm hand down before my parents sell me to some SUMO trainer up in JAPAN.

Came secondary one, i ate myself a place in the trimming programme. "The fun and fitness club" they called it, and doubly vigrous than primary (elementary) school. I had little option but to implement dieting plans before existing like "father christmas", isolated to the north pole exercising only a day per year by servicing chimneys. By secondary two, i had lost five kilograms and was still decreasing. By secondary three, ten kilos. And the second year of sec three, another ten kilos.

Currently, i weigh __ kilograms (give a guess =D). I still have a long way to go before achieving my ideal weight so pray for me yah =)... editing in progress...

LoVe ThYsElF a WhOlE....

mee.jpg
This picture, i present to you, is the formidable me. As if. Taken in my room with bright light glaring off my flawful face. heh. Admire it cos' you only get to see this once. As if.

FlYiNg a PlAnE...

j
Plane...
Flying a plane is not as easy as i thought it was. My idea of it initially was "full throttle when taking off" or "cut the engines when landing". I was so wrong. If my idea had ever existed or still exists, half the rich populace would have been in smithereens. Why is it so hard to fly a plane on the computer? Or is my joystick just b*oody sensitive? Let me enlighten you on my recent crashes. Boeing 747 departured from Changi Airport's active runway and arrived 100 meters from active runway 5 minutes later (quick flight huh?). Boeing 777 departured from Changi Airport (successfully this time) and crash landed two kilometers from Kuala Lumpur International Airport after missing the runway. Bellcraft (helicopter) departed from Changi Airport's active runway (huh?) only to find the pilot exiting back to Windows (heehee... get it? Windows). And all this occured in one day. How am i to fulfill my beloved ambition? More so, it being second on my career list. This is heart breaking indeed.

My ChRiStMaS wIsH...

For the past few months, i had been facinated with the olympus new mini digi cam. Thanks to singapore idol, that addiction came about. Well, although Taufik won it all, the "digital story" commercial that plays, without fail, before and after each segment still lingers about in my grey matter. Although i have sufficient moola to purchase one, parental advisory or rather permission has yet to be seeked before one can make me move. "Moola, oh Moola. Where art thou my freedom of moola usage?"

Secondly, to be alittle ambitions. I would love to lay hands on a S700i SoNy ErIcSsOn. It was most unfortunate that immediately after i adopted a T630, the S700i came about. (for the few who does not know, shame on you *boo-hoo*) I would always drool upon viewing the S700i commercial. The one potraying a lady swinging on a swing with a guy snapping photos of her with the latest S700i. Not to mention the soothing music on the background =). Appealing huh? what say you? If anyone out there is thinking of getting me one, please please please contact me FIRST so that i'm not kept in suspense =D. heehee. I'll keep wishing though. *wish-wish-wish*

Third on my list, my drivers licence. I was suppose to conduct my theory licence during this 2 months holiday of mine, but unfortunately, due to some delay, i never found time too. I am capable of igniting an engine, shifiting gears and moving the vehicle. (Well, PARKING is the word in short) Anyway, i'm desperate of driving a car. In short.

Starting a blogging career

After much consideration, i have decided to start a blogger to pen my thoughts. Well, initially it was peer pressure that had stirred up my consideration. Anyway, since this is somewhat like a public forum, my personal thoughts will be forbidden for viewing so i'll just come down in general with my daily flashbacks. "booo" some may say *shrug shoulders* wish harder =).
Okay, to start off allow me to describe to the audience what i think of my physical being and personality. It may not be really luring but bare with me those readers who are agonisingly reading this.

Firstly, to get things rolling, my general structural being. It is largely assumed that i have massive bones, proven to be somewhat hereditary, and what covers my bones are multi-layered fats that make up a majority of my flesh *fidgets*. Previously, i was labeled as "fit" amoungst all my fellow peers but i dare say i'm in doubt of that calling now. Lazy have i become in all aspects of sports and many a times i would sit and sulk over that 'lard' that lingers about my tummy region. Many call me crazy to have lost the abundant weight and crazier to lose anymore but i'm left with no other choice as my instincts call out to me. CHOCOLATES! *gulps*. This i've said have clearly underlined me as 'fat' but thankfully not as massive as some.

Secondly, abit about my brain. I am a Dyslexic. Although many nerve wreckers admit themselves to be one as well, my case is genuine and scientifically proven through a certified association...hah... What does it means to be dyslexic? It is actually a learning disorder that causes difficulty in a persons comperhending of written words. I had been under coaching at the Dyslexia Association of Singapore (DAS), some 2 years ago, and have ceased since. What the association does is indeed similar to that of a normal english teaching class but very much deeper into that language. For example, the teacher would line up a series of letters like 'A' or even words like 'DGE' and sound out to us the correct pronunciation there is also dictation taking and many other enriching exercises. Dyslexics have trouble recognising strokes of a certain pattern and that explains my reason for not taking a second language. =)

Well, to mark my first post, i shall end short here =)...